Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize