just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
