So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
