i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
