my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I will pee on everything he values.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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