If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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