would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
