I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
There's even glitter on my cock...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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