I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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