I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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