You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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