when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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