why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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