Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
