Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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