I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
