I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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