I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
