Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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