I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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