Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
