Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
