i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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