He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
