I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
