How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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