Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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