One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
