I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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