I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
