I hate all girls vehemently.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
