How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
