i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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