I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize