What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
