even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize