well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
