Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
