Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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