I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do vagina's smell?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
