we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she pinky promised me she was 18
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
