I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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