Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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