So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
