The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
