I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
