i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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