marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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