We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
