And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize