problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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