yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I think my moral compass just broke
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
