Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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