i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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