Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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