It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
