I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
