Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
