oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
